One of the greatest causes of divorce is also one of the greatest considerations during divorce: finances.
My x-wife and I argued constantly over money. She seem to have a spending disposition that I did not recognize before we were married…probably because I had no money before we were married.
I had more of a savings mentality that did not allow a peaceful financial coexistence between the two of us. Each month I would see the credit card bills and I would have one reaction: You have got to be kidding me!
In college, my future x-wife and I subsisted on pizza, beer, and lots of time enjoying things that did not cost a dime. After I began making money, she began spending it “for the good of the family.” How do $200 massages and $250 spa days for her benefit the family? “It will make me a happier person, a better wife, and a better mother,” she would respond.
I never saw this coming when we decided to get married. Since I started making decent money, and we decided that she should be a stay at home mom for the kids, she stopped working. And when people stop working, they start spending and it never seems to stop. In essence, we lost one wage earner and acquired a wage spender. Did she become a better mother? I suppose a little bit…as long as she had her massages, mani-peddies, and spa days.
When our relationship began to deteriorate, and we realized that divorce may be on the horizon, I started investigating the financial ramifications of divorce. You know the most devastating thing that I learned? The thing that hurt the most? I would need to continue to pay for these silly, unnecessary things: the spa, the massages, the expensive haircuts, the expensive clothes, etc.
Why? Because she is entitled for a period of time to continue her lifestyle as is.
I began devouring all the books that I could find to learn how to mitigate this vast expense that was becoming my divorce. I started with a book entitled Legally Save Thousands On Your Divorce.
I did not want my wife to become destitute, she is the mother of my kids after all, but I certainly did not think she should be able to continue her exorbitant spending. On top of that, I realized that I would have to pay legal fees that would be in the 5-6 figure neighborhood.
It seems like what Stephen Hawking would have referred to as a black-hole! The most important thing you can do to mitigate costs with both your x-wife, and your lawyers, is to learn.
The book Legally Save Thousands on Your Divorce helped me begin this learning process.