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Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

During my divorce, I made many, many mistakes.  I hope, if anything, the information that I provide will help you avoid these same mistakes.  You might make other ones, but at least you won’t make these ones.

The biggest mistake that I made, and one that is so difficult to avoid, is becoming contentious.  With my x-wife, I harbored so many ill-feelings about finances that I wanted to explode.  As I have mentioned, my x-wife liked to spend A LOT of money.  I wanted her to be able to be financially secure since she was the mother of my children, but I felt she wanted to lead a life of excess on my dime. 

I’ll admit.  I was bitter.  Should she be able to lead a life better than me when I am earning all the money?  What happened to the girl I once knew who could be happy without all this excess material stuff?  She was gone and in her place was Leona Helmsley.

So, I became contentious when she told the lawyers that she needed all of these things in order to go on with her life.  I fought, and fought, and fought and realized that I was losing.

So many great ideas have to come to me from experts after starting this divorce website.  Often, I wish they had come before.

One such item that came my way ex-post-facto, which would have saved me a lot of grief, was Dr. Reena Sommer’s How to Avoid the Ten Biggest Divorce Mistakes.  I have written about Dr. Sommer before as her book helped my friend Eric through his wife’s affair.

In dealing with finances, there are two facets:  the numbers and the emotions.  I was having to deal with both.  I am good with numbers as they are very logical.  Even though it was depressing seeing what I would have to pay, I could at least get my head around the numbers.  But, I was having difficulty dealing with it emotionally.

In the Ten Biggest Divorce Mistakes, Dr. Sommer teaches how to deal with a lot of the emotional volatility of divorce.  She shares with you when to be friendly with your spouse and (what I liked!) when it might be ok to be contentious.

The reality for me, and for most people, when they are going through a divorce is this:  You are not thinking clearly.  During my divorce, I realized that as I became contentious, I became less rationale and was not thinking clearly.  This is normally a strong suit for me.

The Ten Biggest Divorce Mistakes helps you think clearly when you are in the midst of this emotional chaos.

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