Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

Strict Standards: Only variables should be assigned by reference in /home/rhowto/public_html/divorce/wp-includes/post.php on line 218

I received this letter from Cheryll in New York:

John,

Confession.  I came across your site searching for Divorce.  Specifically, I wanted to learn some of the tactics men use in divorce so I would know how to counterattack.  After all, I’m from New York, and if I am going to go through a divorce, I need to know how the enemy is thinking.

Well, as I was learning these secrets, my husband approached me with new reconciliation ideas.  He wanted to make our marriage work.  I did too, but I was preparing myself for the worst. 

We had been married for 10 years and had pretty much lost interest in each other.  We hadn’t lost love, but we had lost the spark.  We tried several marriage books that didn’t work.  Our discussions always led to some sort of argument.  I always felt like Rob, my husband, made empty promises.  He always said, “I love you and I want to make it work,” but his words felt hollow as they were not backed up by action.

Then, one day, he sat me down and said:  “Cheryll, I want to make this work but I am not going to change who I am.  I am not going to do all of the things you are requesting!”

Hmmm, what was going on here?, I wondered.  I hadn’t heard any of this before.

Well, it turns out he had read about a whole new concept on how to save your marriage.  It was a book called The Mastery’s Guide to Saving your Marriage and Stopping your Divorce.

I will tell you what this did:  It brought Rob back.  It brought back the man I originally fell in love with.  The Rob from college who fought for what he wanted but stuck to his principles.  Instead of the namby-pamby how to save your marriage crap, the fighter in Rob came out.

He told me exactly what he wanted and told me the things that he could do for me…and that a lot of what I had requested he was not going to do-it wasn’t him!

He forced me back into the relationship not by begging but by being assertive.  I loved it.  He didn’t tell me about this book until after we were solid again.  I then read it and I have to say now that our marriage is stronger than ever.  From the brink of divorce, we are now solid again, and this time we know how to deal with our issues.

John, I know that your site is about divorce, but I imagine many people (like me) who visit your site would also be interested in saving their marriage.

I totally recommend this book to those who have one ounce of energy left to put into their relationship.

Regards,

Cheryll

PS:  If I didn’t mention it above, the book is by Dr. Katie Zaltman and it’s called  The Mastery’s Guide to Saving your Marriage and Stopping your Divorce.

Note from John: Visitors, I have not read this book, but I did visit the web page.  There do seem to be great, real techniques that are not full of the fluffy stuff that I tried.  If you’re interested, it’s called The Mastery’s Guide to Saving your Marriage and Stopping your Divorce.

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